I’d
first like to talk about a boy by the name of Ryan Haligan who killed himself
in 2003. I mention the year to show that the cyber bullying has been around for
a while, it’s not a new phenomena, yet it is now getting more attention. Ryan
Haligan was 13 years old and a middle-schooler when he committed suicide. He
had been bullied at school and after his death his friends revealed that it had
been happening online as well. The same boy bullied Ryan since 5th
grade, but when the bully befriended him they talked a lot. At one point Ryan
revealed an “embarrassing and funny” story, which the bully took and used
against Ryan online, leading to the conclusion that “Ryan must be gay”. Rumors
and harassment continued until Ryan ended his life to get away from the pain.
Out of all this bad came something hopeful; his father tours the U.S and Canada
promoting education and prevention of bullying and teen suicide.
The
next tragic story is of Rachael Neblett, who received threatening emails that
were about hurting her and her family. Rachael was a senior in high school and
received these emails through her MySpace account, in the summer of 2006. Not
only were they threatening, they were similar to stalking in nature because
they started detailing her movements at school. She and her parents alerted the
school’s principal because they believed it could only be another student who
was watching her. She didn’t feel safe anymore, at home or school, and in
October she received a final email stating, “I am not going to put you in the
hospital, I am going to put you in the morgue.” After that she didn’t want to
go to school or socialize at all, she was terrified. A few days later Rachael
committed suicide to get away from the emails. Let it be known, suicide should
never be the answer for the harassment. I feel as though I am not saying enough
to discourage this. I will always encourage getting hope from a teacher,
mentor, or parent/guardian. You can get through this with help from your
community.
One
last story is that of Kenneth Weishuhn Jr., a gay high school freshman. This
story is a bit more recent as he took his life in 2012. His sister says that
the abuse started when he “came out”. She says the people who hurt him the most
were those who he trusted. He was bullied at school and online by classmates,
some who even called and threatened him with death. The bullying started with
an anti-gay Facebook page that was started by classmates. His mother knew he
was being harassed, just not to this degree. He talked to his mother and said,
“Mom. You don’t know how it feels to be hated.” His friends had deserted him,
didn’t want to get involved, and/or joined the page against him and his sexual
choice.
After
all those sad and depressing stories it’s now time for my favorite part of this
page, the success stories—the positive pieces! I have four of them for you and
a Fotobabble at the end. These girls have escaped the bullying and now want to
live their lives away from the torment. They have told someone, they have taken
the safe step to stop the bullies from controlling their lives. These are the
stories you should read over and over, these are the stories you should share
with others. These are the victims I hope you look up to, who you want to be.
Paige
Chandler, one of our survivors of cyber bullying, was hurt by anonymous
messages on a social media site called Formspring. This site is somewhere
people can get help with homework, meet people similar to yourself, explore new
people and information, but also where you can be harassed. She was insulted
about her body and she couldn’t tell anyone because she didn’t know who was
targeting her. They, the anonymous comment-ers, said she was ugly and fat and
kept up the posting of ridiculing comments. Her Formspring had been linked to
her Facebook and she sent a report on Facebook, but never got a response.
Finally, she decided to make a smart decision and deleted her Formspring. She
now provides online help and advice to others suffering like she did. “I also
think Facebook and other sites should get ride of anonymity and make people use
their real names. Fewer people would bully online if they had to put their
names to it.,” said Paige. She stood up for herself and now leads a healthier
life.
Another
girl is Justine Williams who already suffered earlier in her life with cancer;
she then had to deal with threats online and through messages. At school she
was not bullied, but online and through email she was being harassed. The
threats included: “I’m going to kill your animals,” and “Set a bomb off outside
your house.” Within one month her email inbox had more than 90 threatening
messages. Her parents realized how serious the threats were and took the
information to the police. It was a good idea for her to tell her parents,
because the police were able to track down the suspect. Sadly, the guilty party
was her best friend. She may never get an answer as to why this happened, but
at least she knows how to help herself feel more wholesome. She and her parents
were upset after hearing that the bully was only ordered to attend some
counseling sessions, a mere 20 hours of community service, and write an apology.
That doesn’t seem like enough for punishment.
Survivor
Georgia Woods was cyber bullied for almost a year before anything was done. She
would be walking home, feeling safe and having fun as a 13-year-old, when some
random number would text her. Not only would they not reveal who they were, or
even if she knew them in the community, they kept saying rude things for no
reason known to her. Georgia said, “They were making me feel alone, like I had
nobody, making me feel worthless.” No one should feel this way, especially in
middle school when a student’s self-esteem can be low anyway. She considered
suicide, but realized she was worth more. She got help from her parents and
they talked to her school and involved the police. All she had to do was tell
someone, they understood, and she got better. She now works with
cybermentors.org.uk, a site for victims where they can talk with others about
their harassment and get counseling.
Natalie
Farzaneh considered taking her own life, but she decided her life was worth
more than being destroyed because of her tormentors. She, like many other
victims considered suicide. In 2008 she signed up for Facebook and linked it
with her Formspring just like Paige Chandler. She was no stranger to bullying;
she was bullied at school for her weight and her Middle Eastern looks. She was
verbally abused, spat at, and physically attacked in her school. She had low
self-esteem to begin with due to the public harassment, but then the bullying
came home with her. Natalie started getting hateful, threatening emails that
were degrading. “I got messages from people telling me to kill myself and
saying that the world would be better off without me and that everybody hated
me.” Says Natalie. Because of the harassment surrounding her she began a
downward spiral of depression, anxiety and paranoia. She didn’t know who to
trust and thought any new friend could just as easily be an enemy. This is when
she started self-harming: cutting, scratching, and pulling her own hair out. When
a friend at school reported that they had seen her bullied her father and the
school intervened and the school reprimanded the culprit. Online she tried to
report her abusers through Facebook but like in other cases, they never
replied. Right around then she had her breakthrough because she started youth
work, signed up to help with an online campaign against bullying, and got her
life back. The bullying stopped once her confidence in herself was returned and
she is now a motivational speaker and mentor for victims.
I
hope you understand why I left Natalie for last, she really was an inspiration
to me and I believe she is for many others as well. Please don’t think the
bullying is the end for you or your friends. Please also don’t feel discouraged
or saddened by the first stories of suicides. Think positively, think
confidently, and think safely while online.
"Real Life Stories". <http://www.puresight.com/Real-Life-Stories/real-life-stories.html>. Puresight. Puresight Technologies, 2011. Web. 23 May 2013.
Whitworth, Dan. "I was the victim of cyberbullying." <http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_7921000/7921500.stm>. BBC News, 2009/2013. Web. 23 May 2013.
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